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god it is just killing me how much roxy looks up to her mom in contrast with how much rose demeaned hers

I KNOW RIGHT time to ramble about this and never post it because I would totally be too embarrassed

okay so read more for unintelligently laid out feelings 

also this is all super obcious obbious obvious GOSH I can’t type

alright so. suffice it to say that some stuff went down with my mom when I was younger, and it’s made me think about mom stuff a l o t. I mean, I tend to overthink everything a lot, but for a while mom-thoughts dominated all my other over-thought thoughts.

and with moms - like with anything else in life - you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. cliche, right? and certainly not true for everybody. every relationship is unique after all, whether it’s a friendship or a parent-child relationship. the cliche was definitely true for me though, and I think it’s true for Rose and Roxy too. 

I feel like there were just so many daily things that got in the way of Rose having a good relationship with her mom…! besides the way that Rose felt the need to one-up her mother constantly, she couldn’t seem to grasp the idea that her mom might possibly act the way she did and decorate the house the way she did because it was what she genuinely wanted. in Rose’s 13 year old brain, her mom was antagonizing her.

Rose really did care about her mother though - remember that conversation she had with Jade after she found out her mother was dead? ugh I could feel my heart shattering into little pieces reading it. but she never actually believed she would lose her mom, so until she did lose her, she never had to realize how much she really cared about her.

and roxy. she never even got the privilege of having her mom around. I just want to hug her and tell her that she’ll be able to meet her mom/daughter someday and that everything’s going to be okay even if it’s not quite what she’s been expecting. no one deserves to have the chance to meet someone they care about withheld from them for so long, it just eats away at you inside ALSDKFJSLDKJF ROXYYYYY

rose and roxy’s connection is just so…so…perfectly touching and sweet but bittersweet and heartbreaking?? I have so many thoughts and feelings about these two but this is already really incoherent and I probably wouldn’t know how to put most of it in words anyway so.

ugh it’s really late and I’m probably going to go back and reread this and feel like an idiot for posting it;;;